"I call myself a bitch because I pee sitting down and the Hanson brothers could kick my ass."

-Adam Sandler, The 1997 MTV Music Awards

This was last updated 5/4/03

• 1.0 The Origin Of "Bolthy"
  • 1.1 What the hell is a "Bolthy"?
  • 1.2 No, stupid, where did you get the name?
  • 1.3 Any other stupid names you been branded with?
  • 1.4 You got a real name?
  • 1.5 So who the hell calls you "Bolthy"?
• 2.0 Astrological Stuff
  • 2.1 Hey baby, what's your sign?
  • 2.2 Oh, is that all?
  • 2.3 You actually believe in this stuff?
• 3.0 The Present
  • 3.1 What do you do for a living?
  • 3.2 Where did you work before that?
  • 3.3 What else do you do?
• 4.0 The Future
  • 4.1 So what do you plan on doing with the rest of your life?
  • 4.2 Could you elaborate?
  • 4.3 So what were you originally planning on?
• 5.0 Miscellaneous
  • 5.1 Were you really hit by a car?
  • 5.2 What kind of underwear are you wearing?
  • 5.3 What can you tell me about your father?
  • 5.4 Is it true you're a misogynist?

Why, that's me. I'm a Bolthy.

Oh! Well, that goes back to high school when we used to play AD&D. I played a cleric of Selune named "Bolthazyr Toramil". I guess I refered to him as "Bolthy" once, and a couple of friends thought it was so damn hilarious that they started calling me that, much to my dismay. Eventually I got used to it, and the name stuck. Big story, huh? As for where I got the name, I'd been into using the names of the three wise men, with various vowels substituted semi-arbitrarily. I'd used Malchior and the other one, so I was left with Balthasar, which became Bolthazyr. Huh. Zah.

Not really. When I first started modeming (back in the day when BBSes were a bit more popular than the Internet), I started out on a chat board called "Prostar Plus", which has since become an Internet provider. I used the handle "Esquire" on there, and then later when I went onto other boards it became "Esquire the Spastic Taurus", since I guess I wasn't the only one with the name "Esquire" on the BBS scene. Because of my father's drinking, my friends insisted that I must be the master mixologist, Dr. von Schotz, listed on the menus at Red Robin. That became "Dr. Bolthy von Schotz" briefly, though mostly only on the Internet. There was a brief attempt at calling me "Jeremy Jacob Jingle-heimer Zimmerman", but that didn't fly either. Oh, and Randy, a former co-worker, called me "Gamer" because he seems to think it's insulting.

Sure. Jeremy Jacob Zimmerman, in case you didn't guess from the last answer.

Mostly just friends outside of work. When I started at the University of Washington, many of my friends from high school introduced me to everyone as "Bolthy". To this day I think some people don't know my real name. At work people tend not to call me "Bolthy". Can't imagine why...

Sun and Moon in Taurus, Gemini Ascendant.

Not really. Click here to see a .gif version of my chart. I ganked it from Astrodienst. If you want to make your own version of my chart (some people's tastes vary on some things) and you possess knowledge of how to do it, you can make a chart for me just to see what I'm really like. I was born at 7:50 AM, May 10, 1975, in the thriving metropolis of Manteca, California, United States of America, Earth.

Mostly. I used to be far more into it, but after a few too many otherwise reliable astrologers started predicting vast sweeping changes like the end of the world or first contact or some shit like that, my faith started to wane. I've decided that while it's useful to examine trends on a vague, "Fuck, this could be anything" level, with an emphasis on the personal, I just haven't seen much to instill faith in more god-like uses. If you want to learn more about astrology, an easy way to learn about it is to actually consult a professional astrologer. A slightly more time consuming, but more cost effective, is to just run out and buy a book on the subject. The one that I started out with is called "The Inner Sky" by Steven Forrest. Unfortunately, it is out of print and hard to find. It was recommended to me as a great book for beginners. You might also want to download a copy of Astrolog.

I count money for a department store and quietly loathe my existence.

My previous job was also my longest lasting one. I was an odd-job man for a "we'd like to think we're not really a" dot-com called The Cobalt Group. I started there when it was a 30-person company, and got laid off when they were absurdly huge and bloated, and I'd worked myself in a strange and useless corner of the company.

Prior to working there, I worked mostly fast food for much of my "adult" life. My first two long term jobs were Dairy Queen and Jack in the Box. I left JitB briefly in an attempt to get away from fast food, and ended up in a brief job at the Evil Empire through a temp agency. I screened technical support calls. What it really meant was that I told people which of several reasons prohibited them from getting free technical support now that Windows 95 had just ignited their computer. My caustic sense of humor got me canned quite promptly. Prior to this, I also had a brief stint working at the Government Publications Libarary at the University of Washington... which was also brief, though more due to me working at Jack in the Box at the same time and calling in sick frequently because I was too tired to endure the monotonous job there.

I suppose the first thing that springs to mind is that I like to write. I don't really consider myself much of a writer since I haven't been writing much recently. I have managed to get a small gig with Guardians of Order, writing one chapter for one of their swanky roleplaying games. I think ultimately that's what I'd like to do. A shame it's a shitty way to make a living. My woman and I have also made noises about getting a couple acres and raising alpacas.

Speaking of games, I play role-playing games, largely Amber Diceless, though I've been known to dabble in Storyteller games from White Wolf and the game Shadowrun put out by Fasa. I also do the odd game of Call of Cthulhu.

I have no fucking clue.

Sure. I'm still at this crux where a lot of my long term goals seem pretty tenuous. I've got a job that pays the bills, 70 or 80 odd credits at the University of Washington, and that's about it. Been thinking of going back to school to get a degree in something that will have absolutely no bearing on my career, or possibly just something that will pad my resume. Other than that, I don't really know. I really think it would be cool to get my own catagory on Yahoo!, and having my own cartoon in Japan would be pretty neat too. I got married last year and we've been thinking about raising alpacas. Really. And I'm wanting to publish my own roleplaying games. But that's about it. Not really what my high school counselor would be pleased with.

Well, when I first started at the U, I'd had my heart set on Aerospace Engineering. Not because I really wanted to be an engineer (and definitely not because my friend Tristan was going to be an engineering major), but because I really wanted to go to Mars. I figured in High School that I'd never join the military, and the only other way I could think of to get into space was to become the guy who designs the stuff. That was my Big Plan. My first quarter, I ended up signing up for Army ROTC, figuring that with that and an Engineering degree, getting into space should be no problem. Plus, I could get a full ride scholarship from the Army, and not have to worry about how I'd manage three thousand a year for tuition from my part time job at Dairy Queen.

Heh.

Well, in order to get the scholarship, I had to be able to get my BS in four years. Otherwise, I had to pay back the Army. After a quarter, I realized that it would probably take me a bit longer than that to make it through. I could go Summer Quarter for maybe one or two quarters, but I didn't know how I was going to manage that while having an hour and a half commute on the bus. I didn't have a real sense of my options at the time, so I figured I was pretty screwed. So, I dropped out of ROTC. A year and a half later, while taking Math 307 (Intro to Differential Equations and Infinite Series) for the third time along with Introductory Honors Physics and Introductory Japanese, working two jobs, and studying a martial art, combined with my inherent laziness, I had an abyssmal quarter grade-wise and realized that I would probably be ready to retire by the time I got an engineering degree, and I didn't really want to be an engineer when I really thought about it.

So I became an English major, figuring I could teach High School English and coach Debate. That was going okay until the UW informed me that I could not come back until I payed them the couple thousand dollars I owed them from emergency loans I took. So, I ended up working full time, and landed the job at Cobalt. Then after five years I got dot-commed. I got hired at Fred Meyer after that, and I'm in sort of directionless limbo. Having been around more kids lately, teaching no longer seems fun. So that leaves me where I'm at.

Yup. A sporty red Toyota Tercel, driven by my best friend at the time. No, we didn't cease to be friends because of that.

Boxer-briefs.

He's an alcoholic, he's recently married again (may god have mercy on his wife), and he's apparently got a good job. He's living in a double-wide in Puyallup.

Not really. See, misogynist implies that I have a serious beef with women, and that's not quite accurate. To be more precise, I hate everyone. The word for that, boys and girls, is "misanthropist".