I was 19 or 20. My dad and stepmother had gotten divorced, the house had been sold, and I was living with my dad and grandmother in an apartment. Somewhere along the line my stepmother had given me a book entitled Children of Alcoholics: As Youngsters - Adolescents - Adults. I just sort of shelved it with the several hundred other books I owned and didn't think much of it. I remember, though, that while living in the apartment I picked it up on a whim, probably in need of some bathroom reading material. I got through about the introduction, and stopped there. A little freaked out. The culprit was the following paragraph:
While children of alcoholics are at high risk to become alcoholic, research also demonstrates children of alcoholics are often prone to marry those who are, or become, alcoholic. In addition, my own research demonstrates that should a child of an alcoholic, neither become an alcoholic, nor marry an alcoholic, emotional and/or psychological patterns develop which may cause problems for this person in adulthood. Adult children of alcoholics often have difficulty identifying and expressing feelings. They become very rigid and controlling. Some find themselves dependent on others; they feel no sense of power or choice in the way they live. A pervasive sense of fear and guilt often exists in their lives. Many experience depression and frequently do not have the ability to feel close or to be intimate with another human being. These factors all play a vital role in the professional and personal lives of alcohlics.
I never finished that book. While going through some stuff, I found the book again, sought out that paragraph, and found that even after five years, it still haunts me. Moreso now than then, I think. Looking back over the last five years I can see how my life has fit that little description far better than I could when I first read that paragraph.

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